Life in Deep Time: The Power of Yoga Nidra
A little of my story; a lot about this alchemical meditation practice
I found yoga nidra in a time of despair. One year beforehand, life had brought me to my knees in the form of a chronic illness which left me almost completely bedridden. I lived in a blank haze. My brain felt broken. My limbs were weak. It seemed nothing could be done. I was twenty-nine and my life had fallen away. It was an ending.
And it was also a beginning. Somewhere amongst the endless dust clouds rolling through my mind, amidst all of the swamps and the swarms, there was an invitation. A little glimmer and a gleam of light was out there in the fog; the wisp of a fairy with a glowing lantern, beckoning me on.
It was an invitation to let everything fall away. To surrender life as I knew it. To surrender my mind as I knew it. To open to the darkness and see what might come.
Yoga Nidra, for those who haven’t yet experienced the alchemical magic of this ancient practice, is a deeply restful guided meditation from the yogic tradition which translates as something like, ‘conscious sleep’. The body falls into a sleep-like state while the mind is aware and relaxed, feeling free.
Here, healing happens; half an hour of nidra can be as restorative as two hours of deep sleep.
Nidra is an exploration of consciousness; an effortless journey through the various realms of the self, known in yogic philosophy as ‘koshas’. We travel easily and fluidly from the external world of the physical body into deeper and subtler layers of self; exploring the energy body, the inner landscape of the mind and emotions, to the great and glorious potential of the creative and intuitive self and the radiant union of the bliss body. Here we create great visions, we live as dreams.
Nidra set me alight. I don’t have words for the extraordinary flights of freedom that can take place in that pure experience of the creative and unitive self, the wide awake one with the access key to the soul. In the waking world I was experiencing life locked up inside my exhausted body. But in nidra? I was free.
Perhaps that sounds like an escape, and for a time it probably was. (And perhaps escape isn’t always a bad thing.) But practice by practice, floating in beautiful realms of energy and possibility, I slowly came to see that it wasn’t an escape at all. It wasn’t taking me out of myself. It was taking me in. Those vast fields of light, those great cosmic soulscapes, those wondrous creative dreams I was experiencing… they were not separate from me. They were me. This was a deeper me, a higher me, that I hadn’t known before.
And here we are, at the very heart of the power of nidra. Because practice by practice, nidra can help us to let all of our illusions fall away. It can bring us into a much larger experience of self, one which goes far beyond the normal waking mind. This is You, a much bigger You, than maybe you had previously known existed. And this knowing is where true freedom lies.
Because when you sip the cup of that bigger You (the one who dwells in the realm of pure Being itself) you know that you are not, in fact, the bundle of insecurities you had always believed yourself to be. You are not this mind riddled with fear and desperately seeking for something outside of itself. You are not the one who agonises over whether you are doing the right thing, or who is chronically afraid of what other people think of you. At last it becomes clear that this is a small, transitory part of your total existence. As the old illusions begin to fall, there is space to grow your sense of self, and in this expanded field of wholeness you can begin to love yourself exactly where and how you are. Pain and suffering and all.
Because now you know there is a much bigger You inside. The You who is awareness itself, potential itself, life itself. Love itself. The one who is Everything. The eternal You who dwells in deep time.
Nidra gave me the opportunity to experience this for myself. Every practice was my conscious ‘yes’ to letting go, bit by bit, of everything I thought I was, or feared I might be, or had bullied myself into thinking I should be. Nidra was the portal, the gateway, to a whole new truth. That place where I could begin to sip at the cup of the bigger Me.
So here I am, eight years later. Slowly recovering. Opening to a new life, vastly different from the one I lived before. Grateful for every nidra experience I’ve had, every guide who has led me through the practice. Feeling inspired to share the practice onwards.
I have a number of free nidras already available on the meditation app, Insight Timer. You can find the link on the Falling Free homepage on the Substack app or website. Insight Timer is a fantastic (free) platform which hosts and supports meditation teachers from around the globe, a meditation app with a genuine vision for a loving, thriving world. Go and check it out and plug yourself into peace.
This Substack newsletter allows me to go a little deeper. There’ll be writings, reflections and meditations on yoga nidra, contemplative practice, mystical experience, love, the Universe and all things… everything that has lit up my heart and sparked fire in my soul during these past eight years. There’ll be practices to support you on your own journey.
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To discovering our greatest freedom, our most loving and creative selves,
Miranda x